Happy Birthday to me!

So I turned 21 on the 17th this month...

A birthday is a day to be happy, to celebrate with friends and family.

It's been a hectic week for me actually.

I started by bombing my organic chemistry mid term, not too great considering I bombed the first one. I ain't doing too hot on them lab reports either.

In fact, this stupid ass course has got me so buckled down, that I had to take an extension to hand in the lab report... I stayed up til 3 Am finishing it up on my Birthday... yeah I know... happy bday...

My mom has not shown much sympathy towards my terrible grades but my family has been supportive of me still. Just the day of my lab, I came home, tired, depressed... and I came to the kitchen to a surprise...

 My family waited for me to get home late... and they made Hot Pot, they got the sauce they got the mix, they got the cilantro, they got the lamb, shrimp, tofu, shrooms, spinach, the whole set there.

Probably the best meal I've had in the longest time. My family just put aside everything, put aside my troubles with school and we had a nice family dinner. They even waited an extra hour because I was late getting home.

Well I have to say, that cheered me up quite a bit, and later in the evening I got a happy birthday call from my Grandma in China, she was really reassuring telling me that no matter how terrible I've done up to this point, as long as I did my best, put in the earnest effort that was expected of me, that nothing really matters. Haha funny thing is I am always questioning whether or not I have been doing my best...

Well anyways, I finally catch a break and I write this saying, it's been a rough trip this month but hey, I'm a year older, that just means new goals, and new expectations.

I'd like to thank my wonderful family, cuz afterall it is a wonderful world.

Good luck and God bless

Teddy

Highlights of the week!

Being one of the only televised games, at least on the channel I have, this wasn't a very exciting game... watching Taj Gibson and Joakim Noah blow some wide open dunks was not very entertaining basketball at all...
But when Derrick Rose came out of nowhere with this crazy play, I actually dropped my jaw and said "wow what a sick play"

Another big play I'd like to mention is:

Eric Gordon over San Antonio Spurs

Hate hate hate!

Seriously... the shit that comes out of their mouths...

I don't understand why these guys hate homosexuals so much...
Apparently these guys are just interpreting the bible, talking about how homosexuality is a sin... okay sure if they want to think that sure w/e right...

But no, they decide to go a bit farther. Because USA is what they call a "fag empowering country", now God hates USA, and he killed all the soldiers in Iraq.

I don't know whether these people are incredibly close minded or they actually have a terrible skewed interpretation of the Bible, or maybe they are just shit disturbers. Or maybe its a combination of all 3.

These guys are a "church" a.k.a a hate group under guise of a religion. The church is basically extended family of the head of the church, not surprising, I mean who would want to join something like that? My theory on why their family is so fucked up, is probably because this family is probably one of those family's where they like to marry each other off to first cousins, so they can reproduce retarded kids.

Things like these are just little blotches in our wonderful world after all!

And from that, keep on rolling, and don't let the WBC get in the way =)

Good luck and God bless

Teddy

It's been a while...

I'm writing to y'all when I should be researching for my homework...

These past 2 months have gone by pretty fast, one day I am out having a good time, and the next day, I hear we have midterms the next week.

School is something that has been the sole purpose of my life for the past 15 years, and could potentially be for a few more. The one thing on my mind should be just studying, but I don't feel like that's the case anymore.

It felt like just yesterday when I wrote the entry about "Work hard.... blah blah School blah blah exams etc etc good luck have fun etc etc". And to be honest things are not going to smoothly. At this point I have to say, I am no where near the expectations I set for myself. I did alright in some subjects, but I can safely say, I nearly flunked two of my midterms, and the labs and assignments aren't going to hot either. That probably makes me the biggest hypocrite in the world. But its not too late I guess. I've been trying to work harder, just can't find my motivation yet. Or who am I kidding? I know that I am a useless person, and my only worth (at least in the eyes of my parents) is in my education. What about what my friends say? Screw them, they don't know shit. Its nice to hear people not wanting me to kill myself and all but honestly, who are they to say what I am worth. This comes from me, a person who blames his surroundings for his own short comings, a person who will not admit to his own faults entirely, a person that thinks that if he is passive, he is not wrong. That is not true, in any situation is just plain stupid.

So what is the point of this, it's to remind myself, that the only goal here should be for me to work hard for what I believe in, and stop dwelling on stupid things. Family? Who cares about family? (no actually but you get the picture) Friends? I have no friends anyways... The only thing I have is my hands (HAHA) and my long lost sense of motivation. Because I've had this thought in my head for the longest time, I am not good enough for anything right now, I have to make myself better, maybe one day I will find somewhere where I belong. Find my niche in the ecosystem, not somewhere I fit in, somewhere I thrive. Pfft like that ever happens.

At the end of the day, I just have to keep telling myself. What do I have? Nothing...

Sure people say, you've got your youth, you've got a second chance coming, you've got good friends. But to me right now that kinda thing is meaningless. Those intangible things will not get me through life. I pretty much called my friends and family meaningless, but that's not a big deal. They are dumb enough to forgive me.

Anyways I've wasted enough time here, I think it's time to get going on this motherf@#king crock of shit my fking useless prof's call homework.

Good luck and God bless

Teddy