First Stretch of my trip...

So after landing, and meeting my uncle, we (me and my asshole brother) have already been having an awesome time.

After 2 days, we've had 2 parties and we hit the town seeing the major attractions in DC.

Just a look at what was happening...

Just a little tid-bit from my trip

Enjoying life!

Godbless and goodluck!

Teddy

Plaigirized!!!

So along time ago I did a couple pictures,

I didnt think too much of them, to be honest they were pretty good, but I felt if I had better stuff (paper, pencils) at the time they would have been much better...

But thats not the point, the point is, one day I was browsing through some old artwork, and being a really vain person sometimes, I decided to search a keyword and see if my picture came out on DA.
To my surprise I saw a someone took my picture and claimed it as their own... I was robbed!
It's no big deal of course... I mean this kinda thing happens all the time, what I would have liked was to be asked for permission first though.

http://teddylicious1989.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2nr0ba

Took me a while to do last year, I did make a couple mistakes but w/e I mean I was proud of it.


http://moobmuffin.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2th99t

And apparently taking pictures and giving it your own stamp/watermark made it yours :P

At first I was like, damn I did that picture, she's pretty good. Then I looked closer, and was like... her drawing style is identical to mine... then I looked even closer and saw the same smudge I made on the forehead... then I saw my signature HAHAHAHA

Oh well, that just means my work is good enough for people to want to steal. I mean I'm flattered at least someone likes it :P Should I be angry someone stole my picture? Mayhaps... but seriously if the time ever comes that she wants to take credit for this, I still do have the actual picture in my artwork folde.

So that wasn't really a rant or anything, it was just something I found amusing. What did bother me was her description though... she said "I drew this, oh its horrible..." way to make me feel great haha.

Oh and PS. I just finished Finals... Still praying for the best! Also I'm leaving for Washington tomorrow! Fun times coming up!

To all you out there take care and godbless!

Teddy.

Happy Birthday to me!

So I turned 21 on the 17th this month...

A birthday is a day to be happy, to celebrate with friends and family.

It's been a hectic week for me actually.

I started by bombing my organic chemistry mid term, not too great considering I bombed the first one. I ain't doing too hot on them lab reports either.

In fact, this stupid ass course has got me so buckled down, that I had to take an extension to hand in the lab report... I stayed up til 3 Am finishing it up on my Birthday... yeah I know... happy bday...

My mom has not shown much sympathy towards my terrible grades but my family has been supportive of me still. Just the day of my lab, I came home, tired, depressed... and I came to the kitchen to a surprise...

 My family waited for me to get home late... and they made Hot Pot, they got the sauce they got the mix, they got the cilantro, they got the lamb, shrimp, tofu, shrooms, spinach, the whole set there.

Probably the best meal I've had in the longest time. My family just put aside everything, put aside my troubles with school and we had a nice family dinner. They even waited an extra hour because I was late getting home.

Well I have to say, that cheered me up quite a bit, and later in the evening I got a happy birthday call from my Grandma in China, she was really reassuring telling me that no matter how terrible I've done up to this point, as long as I did my best, put in the earnest effort that was expected of me, that nothing really matters. Haha funny thing is I am always questioning whether or not I have been doing my best...

Well anyways, I finally catch a break and I write this saying, it's been a rough trip this month but hey, I'm a year older, that just means new goals, and new expectations.

I'd like to thank my wonderful family, cuz afterall it is a wonderful world.

Good luck and God bless

Teddy

Highlights of the week!

Being one of the only televised games, at least on the channel I have, this wasn't a very exciting game... watching Taj Gibson and Joakim Noah blow some wide open dunks was not very entertaining basketball at all...
But when Derrick Rose came out of nowhere with this crazy play, I actually dropped my jaw and said "wow what a sick play"

Another big play I'd like to mention is:

Eric Gordon over San Antonio Spurs

Hate hate hate!

Seriously... the shit that comes out of their mouths...

I don't understand why these guys hate homosexuals so much...
Apparently these guys are just interpreting the bible, talking about how homosexuality is a sin... okay sure if they want to think that sure w/e right...

But no, they decide to go a bit farther. Because USA is what they call a "fag empowering country", now God hates USA, and he killed all the soldiers in Iraq.

I don't know whether these people are incredibly close minded or they actually have a terrible skewed interpretation of the Bible, or maybe they are just shit disturbers. Or maybe its a combination of all 3.

These guys are a "church" a.k.a a hate group under guise of a religion. The church is basically extended family of the head of the church, not surprising, I mean who would want to join something like that? My theory on why their family is so fucked up, is probably because this family is probably one of those family's where they like to marry each other off to first cousins, so they can reproduce retarded kids.

Things like these are just little blotches in our wonderful world after all!

And from that, keep on rolling, and don't let the WBC get in the way =)

Good luck and God bless

Teddy

It's been a while...

I'm writing to y'all when I should be researching for my homework...

These past 2 months have gone by pretty fast, one day I am out having a good time, and the next day, I hear we have midterms the next week.

School is something that has been the sole purpose of my life for the past 15 years, and could potentially be for a few more. The one thing on my mind should be just studying, but I don't feel like that's the case anymore.

It felt like just yesterday when I wrote the entry about "Work hard.... blah blah School blah blah exams etc etc good luck have fun etc etc". And to be honest things are not going to smoothly. At this point I have to say, I am no where near the expectations I set for myself. I did alright in some subjects, but I can safely say, I nearly flunked two of my midterms, and the labs and assignments aren't going to hot either. That probably makes me the biggest hypocrite in the world. But its not too late I guess. I've been trying to work harder, just can't find my motivation yet. Or who am I kidding? I know that I am a useless person, and my only worth (at least in the eyes of my parents) is in my education. What about what my friends say? Screw them, they don't know shit. Its nice to hear people not wanting me to kill myself and all but honestly, who are they to say what I am worth. This comes from me, a person who blames his surroundings for his own short comings, a person who will not admit to his own faults entirely, a person that thinks that if he is passive, he is not wrong. That is not true, in any situation is just plain stupid.

So what is the point of this, it's to remind myself, that the only goal here should be for me to work hard for what I believe in, and stop dwelling on stupid things. Family? Who cares about family? (no actually but you get the picture) Friends? I have no friends anyways... The only thing I have is my hands (HAHA) and my long lost sense of motivation. Because I've had this thought in my head for the longest time, I am not good enough for anything right now, I have to make myself better, maybe one day I will find somewhere where I belong. Find my niche in the ecosystem, not somewhere I fit in, somewhere I thrive. Pfft like that ever happens.

At the end of the day, I just have to keep telling myself. What do I have? Nothing...

Sure people say, you've got your youth, you've got a second chance coming, you've got good friends. But to me right now that kinda thing is meaningless. Those intangible things will not get me through life. I pretty much called my friends and family meaningless, but that's not a big deal. They are dumb enough to forgive me.

Anyways I've wasted enough time here, I think it's time to get going on this motherf@#king crock of shit my fking useless prof's call homework.

Good luck and God bless

Teddy

Being thankful

That time of year again, well at least up here in Canada.

To some, it means getting the family together and having the turkey

To hardcore China-men like my family it means getting friends together to drink and gamble

To us University students, it means the first long weekend of the year.

But what it really means is to be happy, and celebrate what we have.

The time that we celebrate how lucky we are.


Happy Thanksgiving

Small things

I've always said that people should put behind the drama of their lives and move on after school but somehow that never changes.

Everyday I see people argue over petty things, things that don't mean anything at all. Ruining their lives over small and pointless bickerings.

People are funny,the smallest things can just destroy a persons relationship with others, one bad word can kill their friendships. What are these things to us, as people? They are just embodiments of our grief, we blame others, we hurt others, we start wars. And why? Because at the end of the day, we realize we aren't good people at all, we never admit it, we blame others. But what does that mean to us?

When people argue they reconcile. I've always been told people never truly hate each other... turns out that's a load of bullshit. People can do the strangest things, people get changed. Friends are lost, reputations are lost... sometimes life throws strange things at you.

But what can we do? People will be people. Haters will hate. You can try and explain yourself, it might or might not help. But people like doing different things. Some like to rant, kinda like what this blog is about, some like to beat people up, some like to fart in elevators (jking). When I had problems like these, I just like to sit at home and draw a picture, or make some chocolate, and wonder "whats wrong with my life?".

I just want to remind everyone we do live in a wonderful world. A world full of hate, and petty problems. So your parents are mad at you, or you have problems with your better half, or your not doing too well in school. Some people lose family and friends forever, some people starve everyday, some people can't afford the luxuries you and I might have. What is wrong with your life? You don't have problems, you are the problem.

So if you are the problem? What do you do? Get rid of the problem? End yourself? You could, if you were a coward... You dont get rid of problems... you fix them.

Life is short... thats not true, its a long road ahead of you, and this is no flat high way kids. Once in a while you hit the toll gates.

To all good day...

Godbless and Goodluck!

Useless! Useless! Useless!

This summer has been a shitty time for me. Shit happens, thats all I have to say. I mean I do things I regret, I push people farther from me, but I really never thought much of it, in fact I couldn't have cared less what happened. Cuz in my head I believed "drama and shit between people belonged in high school and that we are all too old for it". In a way I still agree it's stupid, but I realized it happens to all of us. Why do we love watching the drama's on tv? Watch how fucking stupid their lives are, or be amazed at how trivial human feelings really seem? Because we relate to them, we are all fucking retards. I'm a retard too in a way. I disappointed my parents, I disappointed my peers, I disappoint myself. I feel like I kno what my problem is, the last few years I've been stupid, and lazy. I'm obsessive, immature, my life is a fucking joke, or I treat it as one. I do stupid things like drink to forget my problem, spend shit loads of cash with my group of friends (the ones I call the fags). Why? So i can forget all my problems..... I say things like "I don't care about these people, so and so can go die, what do they do for me? Nice guy? I only pretend to be nice, I really think they are jackasses". I don't know why it comes to saying things like that, it's just that I think their problems are stupid, and so are mine.

I realized there are people I regret meeting in my lifetime, but I can't change that. Some of them I hate, some I want to put aside, but I can't. Their images linger in my head, making me wonder, what am I? What was I thinking? I will do stupid things, and I will do many more in the future. I am not good enough for anyone, but I can change. I want to be a good person, not the good person everyone tells me I am, but a real good person. Love what you are and not what you want to be? What an idiot, mediocrity gets me nowhere. Time to put my foot down, and anyone who tries to stop you? You tell them to fuck off! Putting behind your friends? You have no friends, lets be honest in this world you are alone. If you become dependent, then you are dead.

I guess I'm dead then. I don't want to deal with people, or tries to be the guy to satisfy everyone, because to be honest I can't satisfy anyone at all. I am useless, all I do is make people uncomfortable and pretend to be nice so I can suck their blood. Thats all people should see me as, and it's true, that's what I've been for the last while. Useless, useless, and useless. The word I so often use to accuse people, my lazy friends who are good for shit, my asshole fucking bus driver who is late when i go to school and leaves early without me when i go home, the people who really wouldn't give a shit what I felt about them, my family friends who say, "i should be this, i should be that". I dont need any of them, again... putting my foot down.

I rant about the same shit everytime but fuck... talking with some of the fags, I realize some of the things I do, make the people around me that I really care for  think of me as a retard, or a sociopath, or makes me do things that make me look like a huge retard.
I look again, on the people I know. What is life? On a molecular level, its what we eat and shit, sounds simple? But what is life really?I think life is what you do, how you do it, and the people you meet is a big part too. I look at the people I meet... okay so there are flaws with everyone but all in all, I really like them. I have the utmost respect for them. But that doesnt stop me from being an idiot, or a downright douchebag at that, and I'm sure thats what lots of people think of me as, I'm not good enough for them, they can't be bothered to associate with me, or talk to me as a human being, because I will just go fuck around and do nothing with my life. Well, if thats what you think... I agree with you, sometimes I wonder what life would be like without me =]

Be grateful you are alive to enjoy lifes wonders
Be grateful you have a family that loves you

Because sometimes those are the only things that keep us going

God luck to all and God bless

Good Excersize for your head

Wow, I want to marry her <3

Shown to me by a friend a few weeks ago, I got around to watch her other video, they are pretty funny if you understand Chinese =]

I wanna be a billionaire

So today, I've been thinking about school.
Why do I go to school? Well obviously I need to go right? I mean if I want to make tons of money right?
Well I've been thinking, what do I need a ton of money for?
I live in Canada, a country where you can get by doing almost anything. I mean I know plenty of family friends who work labour jobs, the kinda jobs we go to school to avoid, and true they might make little, and work longer. But to be honest, they can afford good (enough) cars, cable TV, and houses in nice neighborhoods. Well what else out of life do you want? They live very comfortably already.
I mean thinking on what my parents told me. about 3 or 4 years ago, they told me to work hard at school, become the doctor or the lawyer so I can make alot of money. Maybe it's my fault, or rather, it is my fault, but I can never be that great, I mean again, I have been struggling with my grades. When I told my grandparents and my parents, hey, I can't be what you wanted me to be, I'm sorry. This is what my mother had to say, she said, "Son, what you do means nothing to us, you do this for you, not for us. Raising you into a man is our only goal in life, and we are proud you made it this far. We just want you to work harder so you do not have to suffer like we did". That's when I realized how stupid I've been all these years. Who care's what I do? Who care's what kind of money I make? a million a year? 30 grand a year? What does money mean to me? Well sure, you want a bit more to buy a few luxuries in life. You want to be able to afford to buy nice things. Growing up here, when my dad was a grad student at the University and my mom had to work at a cafeteria, we were not well off at all then, we lived in a student housing complex, and we just had my brother back then too. We needed to pay for my fathers tuition, get a new house for me and my brother, but not only that, I didn't know at the time, but my mother tried so hard for us to have what all the better off kids had. She never held back on the spending buying me and my brother toys, and snacks, and I remember her saying, "tell me what the kids at school are packing for lunch, I will go pick some up".
Looking back on this, it really touched me. But it also made me realize, like I said, I'm lucky to live in a country, where the luxuries of life are affordable by everyone.
I know thinking about financial's and money and my future etc etc is something only senile or old people think of, but I guess it's unavoidable. But lately I listened to this song.


"I wanna be a billionaire..." sounds selfish right?
Well it is in a way. But listening to Travis McCoy's lyrics, "I'd prolly pull an Angelina and Brad Pitt, and adopt a bunch of babies that ain't never had shit".
Just these simple little things, buying the dude a new skateboard, buying the guys CD, giving the graffiti artist some spray paint. "I'd prolly take whatever's left and just split it up, so everyone I love can have a couple bucks". I can sympathize with these words. I mean in the future, if I did get some baller high paying job, how much money can I possibly spend on myself? My ideal would be a simple job, where I am not too important, and not too low on the ladder. Where I can pay the bills, and have some savings. And in my free time, I wanna go home and buy candy for the kids in my village. And thinking back on this idea, it's not hard to do, I don't exactly need to be a billionaire. I remember maybe 2 years ago, my friend was complaining about how he can't do dentistry, I said, "Well whatever you do, just remember you will be well off doing anything". My friends being the usual pig heads said, "uhhhhhhhh nooo you have to be doctor etc etc etc...". Well they say what they want (they will learn sooner or later). Sometimes I don't know, if it's because they want to oppose anything I say, or it's because they are actually retarded. But in anycase, this brings me to what my dad was telling me a long time ago. It all started as an arguement, where I thought that my dad was spending too much money for our Christmas presents, and he told me, "Son, I'm holding money in my hands... those looking at these papers make you happy? What do you want me to save it for? Money's worth is that it can be turned into things you like! Don't worry son, even if I buy you some gifts you will have enough to buy you your favorite food on the table". That night I cried a little, I didn't know if it was because my father pitied for me and my brother or if he actually didn't mind spending. And I mean, by no means were we in huge financial trouble, I was probably just a really jewish baby. And I thought for myself for a bit these 10 years later. He is right, why should I have to save so much money? and not buy anything I like? So when I die, I can give it to my grandkids? so they can save, die and pass it on? No, they should enjoy their life. This doesn't mean you shouldn't conserve where you can, but that doesn't mean you should pinch your pennies to the max.
That's why I really loved that music video. It's not only a great song, but the images of Bruno and Travis going around helping teens who are on their own. It embodies all of our struggles as new adults making their mark on the world, living their lives, and following their dreams.
Of course, not everyone has the same luck I do. Where I'm from, I get some advantages, and I say this because I've lived on the other side. Back in China, my parents were university graduates and made very minimal wages, it took us 6 years to save up to buy a motorcycle (according to my por por). My dad was always under pressure at work, and my mom barely had time to spend with me. When we immigrated to Canada, we were met with luxuries that we couldn't have imagined back home. We could afford luxuries like TV and computers on not-so good wages, we could afford to buy meat, and milk everyday, and eggs. We started eating fruits and vegetables that we've never seen, and they were all affordable, making me realize, I live a very rich lifestyle already.
Going straight to the point, maybe I don't have a billion dollars, but I do feel like a Billionaire, I might not have a billion dollars, but I think I'm getting close to that feeling.
I am blessed to live in such a great place, and to have such great family. I don't tell them at times, but I am proud to be their son.
I want to wish luck to all you people out there, life is a struggle, one we can't win with money alone.

Goodluck and Godbless everyone.

What doing? Doing what?

This started a few months ago, where one of my friends texts me "what doing"
I didn't think much of it, so i replied normally
But for the next couple weeks, I see this huge chain of "what doing" going around
Now this is where the problems start.....
I mention once "God I hate when people type to me, What doing"
My friends being a bunch of douchebags decide to spam me "what doing"
You know, I'm not mad at how annoying it was. It's more like, I don't like the fact that my friends would purposely bother me.
So this brings me to the topic of friendship. What does that mean to you?
Friendship is something profound. Friendship does not mean association, well it does, but when we say association, there is a sense of pure mutualism between the people, whereas in friendship, when you are together with all your buddies, playing basketball, or pigging on food, you feel more intimacy towards each other (no homo).

This whole time I've been mad at the bunch of douchebags (my friends). I realize, well whatever they do, even if it is to intentionally bother me, I shouldn't get too angry. One other friend said to me, If you let their petty antics get to me, then I'm just as useless as they are. And he's right, I don't procrastinate my ass off, I don't have commitment issues, I don't like keeping to myself to make people feel awkward, I don't like farting in public, I don't like correcting people everytime even though I don't know shit about what I'm talking about, I don't nose into peoples personal business, I don't try to one-up people, I do not make all your goals sound impossible, I am not fake as shit, I don't show people personal items of interest, I do not try and take a photo of people while they are taking a shit, and I do not make people lie for my selfish need.
Wow, and you wonder why I'm friends with these retards... sometimes I wonder too. But to every bad side their is a good side, memories I will enjoy with them always. I don't know why, but with some of these people, my food tastes better, my drinks are colder, and when I laugh, I can't stop. You can call it, the perks of friendship, the real intimacy between your peers, and occasionally I don't mind how homo we act. Er well to be honest most of it is on purpose.
But back to the problem at hand, I think it's because I consider them my peers, my friends, that I find myself more and more angry. Why would they want to harass me like this? Again its not the stupid text message that bothers me, it's the idea, of one of these fags, putting on his stupid grin, giggling, pointing his finger at me yelling "WHAT DOING WHAT DOING WHAT DOING DOT DOT DOT OH EM GEE".
Sometimes I look forward to hanging out with them, sometimes I have dreams of punching their fugly grill and pushing them to the ground... then when they get up punching them again. And this makes me look into their ugly sides, and wonder... Why am I friends with them?
Sometimes they go too far, so naturally I get angry. I know some of them, if they read this will wonder "Oh why is that bad? I play a timeless joke and you get angry? meh meh meh meh....etc". And I just want to point out all the stupid shit that he is, how useless he is. But I don't, because I know I am just as bad as anyone. I'm doing terrible in school, I lie to myself all the time, my parents and grandparents put me down as a problem child years ago, my little brother doesn't look up to me at all. So what am I to blame them for being useless people. Useless is a bit of a harsh word, but in my eyes that is just my description. My description for anyone who is not who I wanted to be. A hard working student, responsible, punctual, honest, respectful to who ever, loved by friends and parents. All things I can never be, so maybe all those times my mother calls me useless, she's right.
Well, that's just how life goes, the wisest man I know (My dad) always said to me, "son, all people out there are stupid, do not depend on anyone". I used to take that message really seriously, but obviously that's not what he meant, he meant for me to be independent and take a stand against whoever stands in my endeavor. Whether it's studying hard, and getting on the right track, or it's telling my friends to STFU whenever they decide to spam me "what doing" for fun.
My friend said something to me, "you're too angry over small things, if you keep this up you will scare people away, those closest will run the farthest" Now whether what they say is true and meaningful, or they (like lots of people I know) are fake as shit. It doesn't matter, I am who I am, and I will live by the other words my dad said to me, "They give you shit? You give them shit!" in his Chinese accent. This little slogan I live by has gotten me into lots of trouble, but if they bring me trouble, I bring it to back to them =]
Anyways, it's funny how a simple stupid text message "what doing" made me think so much about the life I live. There is no excuse for any of them being as useless, or lazy, or unmotivated, or trying to belittle others, or taking and not giving back. They say things, that hurt or offend people, then they say "just kidding". Well sometimes when I listen to them, the JK loses all meaning, I can't tell they are joking when they say that, I just see people who are fake, who care about nothing but themselves, and will use their friends in w/e way they can. I know thats not what they are like, or sometimes I wish I could believe that, but recently I can't bring myself to think that.
As for myself, I try to be the best person I can be. The poor Newspaper carriers walk around the subway passing papers get ignored and shoved aside all the time, I always ask for one, and give them the sincere thank you they want to hear, I for one never read the news, but I think taking a bit of time out of my day to help in anyways is the right thing to do, I also think of myself as considerate, I call everyone by the title "bro", because what are they but my bro's? The people that I will live with and die with, the ones that I spent my young life with. But self praise is nothing without criticism, I am sometimes what I call "unintentionally lazy" or to be fair, I'm just a retard. When I left the stove on during a party and went downstairs to play, my friend told me, luckily no one was hurt, but the tone in his voice made me feel like shit. He was right, I am useless, or rather I am a retard.
So what I've learned from this is no matter how useless others are, I shouldn't care what they do, I can only strive to be perfect. Sure I wish I could be friends with them, and they acted a bit more considerately, and sure I wish they can overlook my flaws like I try to do with them. But sometimes I get overwhelmed (yeah that's just how useless i think they are sometimes haha). But anyways, no matter who I meet, or what kind of problems I may be having, perseverance is the only thing I can count on.

I strive for a better future, for myself, and those close to me. And to the asshole motherfkers who I called friends, just a word for the future, Karma will strike, and it will always be behind you.

Wow after reading all that, I do sound like a huge retard.

Til next time y'all!

Teddy

Start of School Year

Yesterday was the start of a new school year, and my 4th year of university

I resolve to study hard, make the most of my time, and put aside all other things.

YEAH like that ever happens.
I've made this promise year after year, and what happens?
Starting day 1, I'm the good boy sitting front row fixated on my profs lecture.
Give it a couple months and I'm back to sleeping in till noon and falling asleep and drooling on my notebook.
But I have a feeling this year is gonna be different.

To all you kids out there going back to school, Goodluck and Godbless =]